Best places to get a small stick up your nose
As of today, there are more than 20 Covid testing stations in Dunedin. I’ve been to a few of them, courtesy of a family propensity for colds when stressed, tired, run-down or otherwise not firing on all cylinders, an intolerance for dust and pollen, dairy products and red wine, and a general rule-abiding demeanour. My shoulders tighten and my nose lets go – it’s just the way it is. Anyway, the last two years have been a time, and I’ve had a few Covid tests. Each testing station is different, has its own charms and quirks. Here’s my take on the options – would love to hear yours.
Booking the test
I’ve taken to calling Wellsouth to make a booking. The people on the phone are lovely and go out of their way to find you a booking that’s in a convenient location and at a time that suits you. I’ve talked to the same person a few times now, and she’s everything you want in a health-related call centre. Don’t hit the wrong button though! I ended up on the vaccination line and then Healthline this morning, and it sucked 10 unhelpful minutes out of my day.
The local GP
My GP does testing in the carpark, which is small and has complicated signage and not completely obvious entry and exit paths. It’s worth it for the kick of seeing the doctor in full protective gear, but wait times are usually long. Other people are often parked in there too, and we peer at each other with our windows up. Good if you want to hide in the car and pretend family and work commitments don’t exist for a while. Take a sandwich, book or phone. The doctor has the best testing technique I’ve come across and a very reassuring manner.
Te Kaika
This one is awesome if you like complicated driving - there’s a roadworks detour just when you’re tantalisingly close to the centre, and then the carpark has a very fun cone lane system and cute directional signage. I got out of the lane by mistake at one point and had to reverse my way back in without hitting a cone. If the staff – who are warm, accommodating and gentle – were watching and thought I looked like a wally, they didn’t let on. They were completely unfazed about the dog in the back seat, the grotty car and the weird driving. Bonus: near the beach.
Urgent doctor
The Urgent Doctor testing experience is pretty awesome if you like a little spy thriller twist on your invasive nasal procedure. You have to walk down a brick-walled lane, stand outside a heavy black door (avoiding close contact with other lurking prospective test-havers) and call a number to be let in. The testing routine is the quickest and most efficient I’ve come across – you could probably rely on paying for no more than 10 minutes on your meter. I would say that the testing technique employed here features keeping the swab in your nose for an uncomfortably long time. Fine for an adult but not so great when you’re watching it happen to your child.
And now I wait. The cold symptoms have pretty much vanished, of course.